Happy Groundhog Day 2013!

These little groundhogs came out to say that winter isn't going anywhere soon around these parts!  Praising God for another year of His faithfulness :)

Seedlings

I suppose you wonder if the Frues fell off the face of the earth?  Not quite, but we are certainly in another world!  We only moved 2,250 miles, 37 road hours, 8 states, or 3 days away from our cozy little condo in Cali, but life is dramatically different. The pace, the place, the people (don’t-cha-know)—all the unfamiliar that is beginning to become much more familiar.  I still rattle my head when I’m reminded that we live in Minnesota, and I still refer to California as “back home”. I look at people funny when they say “put your things in the beg” (bag) or “here’s your name teg” (tag), and they look at me funny when I say “stoked, ya’ll”, but slowly Minneapolis is becoming our own.  We are in love with the city and the diversity and the new things to see and explore and do.  We are overwhelmed by the sincere love and care and friendship that has come from the families in Todd’s seminary, our church and our neighbors. Our home is a haven in a humble quiet neighborhood where you can turn right to go into “the forest” as Lion calls it, or left to a view of the city’s skyline.  We’ve been uprooted from the sandy soil of SoCal and replanted in a special place…and are beginning to take root again.

Now just so I don’t paint a rosy picture of utopia and perfection, we may have left a few things back west, but our sin and habits and hang-ups came with us, for sure.  It’s taken some adjusting, and stretching, and releasing, and (gasp) repenting to settle us into this new way of life.  Some rocks had to be dug up, some weeds pulled, some pests (ahem, habits) killed so that we can wiggle our feet into the new soil.  It isn’t easy, but it’s good.  In a lot of ways, although challenging at times, I feel like the Lord had us under the rake for awhile in order to make the soil we’re in the perfect place to grow.  Or to put it another way, if the year prior was a muddy mess of awkward uncertainty, confusion, and painful pause, this year is emerging from the soil and seeing sunlight. 

The summer garden we inherited and it's caretaker

It’s no coincidence that I’m using planting metaphors to describe the season of life that we’re in.  As Todd unpacked his seminary textbooks, I unpacked our homeschooling curriculum and realized that we’re settling into a fresh field for an altogether new beginning for our family. And just why am I so enthused about the planting, and growing, and seeds, and root talk?  Well first, Todd has begun seminary, which is derived from the Latin word seminarium, or seed bed.  It’s name is defined not only as a place of theological education, but also “a place or environment in which something is developed or nurtured.” Next, we have begun kindergarten with Lion, which is German for “children’s garden” and preschool, otherwise known as “nursery school” (think plant nursery) with Bear.  And Bees, well, he’s busy eating dirt and bugs…which begs me to say our home is a garden and we are all growing!

So what exactly are we watering?  Zucchini?  Tomatoes?  Faith.  Plain and simple, by grace Todd has answered the upward call to the knowledge and fear of God, which has already taken him deeper than any Navy dive he’s done and has really stirred up (and healthily challenged) his faith.  And as a mom I’m (fumbly) engaging the role as seed planter in my children’s hearts for the love of God and of learning, which has equally challenged and stirred up my faith in and dependence on Jesus.  It is not beautiful (I’m often in my pj’s well into the afternoon) nor breezy (Todd’s school work is more than a full-time job), but I know that the Lord is cultivating in us something that I believe will be fruitful and worth it. 

(Not coincidentally, “cultivate” is the word God impressed upon us when we started dating):

cul·ti·vate  tr.v. cul·ti·vat·ed, cul·ti·vat·ing, cul·ti·vates 1.a. To improve and prepare (land), as by plowing or fertilizing, for raising crops; till.    b. To loosen or dig soil around (growing plants). 2. To grow or tend. 3. To promote the growth of. 4. To nurture; foster. 5. To form and refine, as by education.

Honestly, I can’t get away from the metaphors.  The last several weeks of homeschool with the boys was first about the sun, how it gives life and light to everything, then later about leaves and how plants grow and are dependent upon the sun, and last week was about apples and how it begins as a seed, grows into a tree, and bears fruit that proliferates more seeds…I really think God in nature has a theme running here…

“Blessed is everyone who fears the LORD, who walks in his ways! You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands; you shall be blessed, and it shall be well with you. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table…”  Psalm 128:1-4 

“Then our sons in their youth will be like well-nurtured plants…”

Psalm 144:12 

“Trust in the LORD and do good; Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.” 

Psalm 37:3

What’s most encouraging to me in the days that I just want to go back to bed:

“Do not become weary in doing good for at the proper time you will reap a harvest of blessing if you do not give up.” 

Galatians 6:9 

And I'm reminded that we aren't really the growers here, but God who began a good work in us and who will see it to completion (Philippians 1:6). "So neither he who plants or he who waters is anything, but only God who makes things grow." 1 Corinthians 3:7

"I am the true vine and my Father is the gardener. . .If a man remains in Me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing." (Todd's theme verse)

John 15:1,5

So just as Jesus said, “no one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God", pray that by His grace we'll be focused, with our minds fixed on the row in front of us, able to nurture the little mustard seeds of faith in Christ that God has planted in us.

Oh, and did I mention there’s literally something growing in me?

We’ve got a new seedling a-sprouting in May!

And that’s why we’ve fallen off the face of the earth--it’s hard work to grow a person from a seed, you know!  (Not to mention, I'm definitely experiencing "growing pains" in this first trimester, so please keep us in prayer for healthy perseverance!)

Sandcastles to Snowballs

Remember when I mentioned Todd answering God's call to drop his nets and follow Him? I must say it wasn't hard to drop our nets on the sandy shores of Southern California.  "I could like it here, Jesus, good call."  Then came a little blurb on one of our favorite websites, desiringGod.org, about a brand new, purposefully small seminary out of our favorite Bible teacher's church.  Great!  Just what Todd was longing for: one-on-one discipleship, teaching, learning, and loving Jesus with his mind in order to be equipped to care for souls.  "Perfect.  So, where exactly is Bethlehem College and Seminary?"  In the heart of Minneapolis, Minnesota.  I gulped, "Can you do it online?"  Unfortunately, no.  But watching the invocation and visiting this newborn school filled our hearts with an excitement and a quiet peace that this is where Todd and our family belongs.  Todd wasn't looking for a seminary degree--if he was, there are plenty of opportunities for that along our golden California coast.  But in his heart he felt a longing for learning for the sake of loving...and BCS has a matching pulse.

"Okay," so I ask, "how do we get there?"  Be accepted.  "How's that?"  Apply.  "Doing what?"  Write extensive essays and papers, answer probing heart and passion questions and have your pastor and wife send their own private responses to what you are pursuing.  "Mmmkay."  Two months and whole lot of heart searching and writing later, out goes the application and a prayer (or two).  "Allllrighty. How hard could it be?"  They only accept 15 students.  "Hmmph.  We don't even have a prayer."  Then came the interviews.  "How'd it go, Todd?" Fumbly and humbly he admitted, "If I get in, it won't be because I interview well." 

So after a year of dreaming, six months of forehead rubbing, and a few hundred-thousand soul-searching prayers for God's will for our little family...he got a call.  Then he called me.  I was standing at my favorite beach park gazing out at the beautiful Channel Islands...

 ...Deeeeep breath...

God willing, and it seems so far that He is willing, this summer we're moving to Minneapolis, Minnesota to live and study among the people of Bethlehem College and Seminary!

Mennesooda, eh?  I'm still flabbergasted.  And need warm socks.

For those of you having trouble lifting your jaw from the floor, may I share with you what I privately sealed and sent for the BCS Spouse Questionnaire?  My hope is that you will join me in lifting my jaw from the floor to my hands in the air...

I am thankful to have been asked to share my reflections/excitement/concerns about my husband studying in this M.Div. program and moving toward full-time Christian ministry.  In order to do that, I must put my feelings in context and give glory to God for what He has done to get us to this application process.  Before I boast in the Lord, I will tell of my husband, only for you to see that at his highest worldly accomplishments were his lowest moments of spiritual failure, and at his humblest points of repentance are the Lord’s greatest works of grace that have brought us to where we are today.

Todd Fruehauf is a thrill seeker and I knew it from the beginning.  When we met he was a Navy diver a year out of the Academy, stationed on a minesweeper as Damage Control Assistant working his way to bomb school.  On our first date he took me surprise skydiving.  Soon after he gave me a hot pink helmet so I could ride with him at mach speed on the back of his motorcycle.  For fun with friends we kayaked to an abandoned ocean oil rig and I watched him leap from the top of it. We surfed and built bonfires on the weekends.  Triathlons were a side hobby.  But the most poignant fact I know about him he confided to me on our first dinner date, “I don’t know if it’s a spiritual thing or an actual wartime role, but I long to lead men into battle.” 

Granted, Todd is a grounded thrill seeker.  As we dated we read together, by his leading, books by John Piper and discussed the exciting new thoughts, one of which was adoration—chasing sunbeams up to the sun.  The worship of God on the way home from skydiving was a greater and more memorable experience to us than falling 120 miles per hour from thousands of feet in the air.  We had a taste.  A seed planted.

Fast forward, we married and were immediately whisked away to EOD (Explosive Ordnance Disposal) School and he was thrown into the intense demands of learning with little margin for error.  Todd graduated at the top of his class but was spiritually sinking.  In a whirlwind we were transferred to San Diego and the vigorous work of jump school and tactical training, where he fell in love with backflipping from airplanes and jumping into the ocean from helicopters.

Our first son was born while Todd began his assignment as Officer In Charge of an EOD Detachment, who would eliminate Improvised Explosive Devices and Roadside Bombs in Iraq.  Our family was being built while preoccupied with the training workups for war.  In Iraq Todd lived his desire, leading men and creating explosions from terrorist ordnance that NASA saw from space.  He earned a Bronze Star medal for his bravery but had little victory over the terrorist of his own sin nature. 

Upon arrival home we were transferred to Point Mugu, California and he came to such a place that he doubted his own salvation.  Then he read Finally Alive.  I witnessed a new birth in him—a transfer from the duty of religion to the delight of knowing God personally and experientially through His mercy in Christ.  This was the seed breaking from the shell and pushing through the dirt.

Then with our second son on the way, came the invitation to screen for SEAL Team Six, an elite Special Operations military command.  This was his hardest, greatest, ultimate desire and dream pursuit.  It meant being called upon, as a tier-one asset of the Commander-in-Chief, to act at any hour on any day for any mission in any part of the world for an untold number of days of which his family would not be privileged to know.

I watched as my husband pushed himself beyond the limits to pass the rigorous requirements to join this team.  He was a freight train I couldn’t stop so I just got on board regardless of what it meant for our family…and I prayed.  Then, halfway through the week of intense physical, technical, and mental screening, the psychologist asked, “What does your wife think of this pursuit?”  Todd didn’t know.  Which caused Todd to question, “what does the Lord think?”  Todd hadn’t asked.  With his final interview before the board the following day, he hit his knees and searched the Word all night long with the same vigor that he had given to this special command.  God was faithful to answer, “I want you to pursue Me and My Word with as much passion as you have this position.” When the sun came up Todd faced the Review Board in his Service Dress Blues uniform with his answer: “Thank you for this privilege; I’m going home to my family.”

The freight train came to a screeching halt…and changed tracks.  You can imagine this thrill-seekers delight upon his discovery that “at His right hand are pleasures forevermore,” and that not only was it okay to seek God for his own thrill, it was what he was made for—to enjoy Him.  Utmost joy.  Utmost delight.  Utmost satisfaction.  And it’s right.  In doing so it is loving God.  And it is an endless reward—not bronze, gold, or silver but Christ Himself.

When once Todd’s passion was for his own glory and pleasure, he now undoubtedly and perseveringly has a passion for the supremacy of God in all things for the joy of all peoples through Jesus Christ.  Where the seed was planted years ago now stands a green olive tree thriving in the house of his God.

As his wife, I have been baffled by his transformation and the passion with which he pursues the knowledge of God.  He couldn’t finish a brochure before all of this; now he flies through Christian literature faster than Amazon.com can deliver them.  His heavy weight lifting is benching Grudem’s Systematic Theology (for training in godliness).  He keeps Greek flash cards on his person like a concealed weapon.  Where he used to surf on dawn patrol he rises early for prayer.   We have to budget for his coffee shop meetings with brothers.  Most notably Todd is the Officer In Charge turned tender pastor of three little men and their mommy.

Bethlehem Seminary is Todd’s SEAL Team Six where he is trained and equipped to lead men into battle.  But this pursuit is markedly different from all the rest; it’s not for a glory job or from misplaced passions.  He’s not seeking position or his own pride.  And he certainly doesn’t flex his spiritual muscles for anyone.  He just wants to enjoy Jesus on a deeper level and see that many are awakened to His joy.  

I whole-heartedly stand behind Todd in this pursuit. It is a decision we made and prayerfully sought together and I happily trust God for what it means for our family.  If the Lord is willing that we attend, I know it’s going to be a challenge on a whole different level; Todd hasn’t written a works-cited paper since the Naval Academy over nine years ago and that was probably over a yawner of a discussion of Naval History.  But God has been writing His Word on Todd’s heart and exciting him about His story, which is absolutely no yawner.  And if I know anything about my husband, the intense and demanding rigor of a Bethlehem Seminary education is, to him, an invitation to know Jesus--his ultimate thrill.

Groundhog came out of his burrow...

I know, I know Groundhog Day was exactly one month ago...but it took me that long to get back to blogging after laboring over this little paper child and licking all the envelopes to deliver him ;)  

Or in other words, Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow on February 2nd and went back in for four more weeks...so here ya go! :)

Really, I just wanted to wet your whistle for more news to come of God's faithfulness and perfect timing! (I promise I won't go back into my burrow before I post the follow up!)

Frue Flu, I'm thankful for you.

The last five days haven't exactly been what we planned for our first Christmas at home.  We usually travel to be with extended family for the holidays, but this year Todd felt strongly that we should be home as a little family...oh how happy I am that he was led by our Sovereign God!  I don't think the folks on the airplane would appreciate the Frue Crew this Christmas...

(to be sung to the tune of Twelve Days of Christmas)

On the eve before Christmas the Stomach Flu gave to me:

Twelve Loads of Lurch Laundry

Eleven Tossed-Cookie Clothing Changes

Ten Barf Bowl Visits

Nine Rug Ralphings

Eight Midnight Messes

Seven Poopie Pampers

Six Up-Chuck Mop-Ups

Five YUCKING FRUES!

Four Spewed Sippycups

Three Heave-and-cleaves

Two Hurling Parents

And a Vomit Virus Under Our Treeeeeeee!

My apologies for those with weak stomachs...my mind must also be sick ;)

If that hasn't made your stomach turn, this will:  I'm THANKFUL for the Frue Flu of Christmas 2011.  We have spent more time snuggling, giggling, enjoying, and resting than the last I-don't-know-when.  We caught up on our Advent stories and ornaments that we missed from being so busy this month.  We were able to "just say no" to calls and invites without feeling guilty or being tempted to drag our children to another holiday happening.  We sang lots of Christmas Carols and talked about them.  We joked and told stories and watched movies and worshipped Jesus together.  It's been a Christmas centered around Christ, just how we wanted it to be...how sad that we need a virus for that.

But here's the epiphany: we didn't have ANY discipline issues--because the boys' love-tanks were full even if their stomachs were continually emptied.  And sweeter still, Todd and I got along the whole time of quarantine and cared for each other and the boys sincerely and tenderly without grumbling or self-seeking.  

Imagine that.  

"But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities.  For when I am weak, then I am strong."

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Thank you Jesus for coming to us, in our sin and sickness, and bringing us Your joy.  Like the Christ-child in a manger, we thank you for sending us gifts that come in the least-expected ways.

Tonight we celebrate YOU.

Fair Winds and Following Seas, LT Todd Fruehauf

We knew this day was coming when we'd see the end of Todd's Naval career and the beginning of a new adventure. That day kinda snuck up on us. When Todd made the hard decision to resign from the Navy and made the phone call to his order detailer, we had no idea what we would do instead, nor where we would live, or what we would live on for that matter. But when Todd hung up the phone he heard a familiar voice whispering, "Drop your nets and follow me."

So we did. When Jesus called those fishermen turned disciples, the sea was their livelihood. That's all they knew. His call didn't include a promise of more lucrative ventures (at least not in the currency they knew) nor did they review a retirement plan (at least not the one they were imagining). They just followed two orders: drop what you know, and follow.

It's been a nail biter as we take this step of faith, and there were more than a a few times we looked at each other like we were loony. But now that the puzzle pieces are coming together (ask me about the perfection about God's timing) we're seeing a sweet picture that we couldn't have painted ourselves.

Today Todd receives his honorable discharge from the Navy, so while his parents were in town, we threw him a surprise party to celebrate the years past and, God willing, the years ahead. We invited the men and their families who have been along side him in these decisions and we enjoyed reflecting and rejoicing in the work God has done in this man of mine.  We roasted him, we toasted him, and best of all we gathered around and prayed for him.

My toast for my man :)

"It's really fun to look around and enjoy all of the cool things you've done. To recognize the heroism and bravery and GI Joe-ness of your adventures and it has it's place--today is the day to reflect, and honor, and recognize the days past. Thank you for what you gave in order to serve our country.

But tonight I don't just want to reminisce on the good old days--I want to rejoice in the days to come as you answer a much higher calling and purpose for a far more lasting country.

One would say from these pictures that you have served alongside men of valor, honor, and courage. It was even a grand opportunity you had to screen for the group of men who receive their special operations from the President himself.  

But as I look around the room I see a far greater band of brothers. Who you serve and fight with now are armed with weapons that are not of this world and who receive their marching orders directly from the King. These, and you with them, Todd, are mighty men of valor.

You walked away from your Rambo dreams to serve the Lord and love your family and you join the ranks of men who do the same, undercover and out of the glory beams. 

You're on a new mission now.

What I recognize is that when you're on special ops with the kingdom of God, no one is taking your picture. You won't find an action photo of you encouraging a struggling brother at the coffee shop. But the courage it takes to be honest, loving, and truth telling 

saves more than a life, but a soul.

There aren't Man of God or Loving Husband and Father GI Joes. No one hands you a plaque for exceptional service, or even recognizes your acts of heroism. Your wife and sons may be the only witnesses of your acts "above and beyond the call of duty." 

And it's good.

From the Navy you have received your reward and recognition for your hard days of work in bronze and gold and silver medals. From this point on, your reward is of far more lasting material. And your praise is being deferred to the One who is forever worthy of praise. 

I know that this brings you joy.

You may not ever hear "Bravo Zulu" again...but by His grace you will hear "well done" 

and your reward will be Christ Himself.

Tonight I celebrate the man you were and rejoice in the man you are and are becoming in Christ. To the glory of God."

Unpacking the week

Two zillion trips back and forth and more junk piles dumped and donated than I'd like to admit, we're finally moved into our new place. You'd think moving into a smaller condo down the street and "simplifying" would be easy...yeah, I thought that too. At one point once our practical things were moved into our new place, I considered striking a match to that monstrosity of a house and it's equally large stacks of "what do we do with this?". If it weren't for our precious neighbors we shared a wall with, Todd would have been putting his explosive expertise to good use.

Seriously, I missed my husband and children while I was hacking through the thick jungles of junk. Thank the LORD I found my way out (just don't peek in my closet, you might find some vines still hanging).

So a week of my life was dedicated to sorting temporal possessions instead treasuring the ones running and playing in the midst of them. God forbid we accumulate anything more than memories in this new home!

Boxes of boxes

Well, the boxes have arrived.  The boxes of boxes for our move this weekend.  How on earth I am going to fit all of our belongings and possessions into these boxes is beyond me.  I don't think it's possible...and I think that's the point.  We're ready to simplify.  We've picked a much smaller apartment/condo down the street with no garage to conveniently stash those things we haven't been able part with the last five times we've moved.  That is, unless the neighbors don't mind our junk lining the hallway...

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:19-21

So that's the idea. Not easy, and my idol factory of a heart sure is fighting it.  But resolved, Craigslist will now be displaying my "treasures" so that we can be more focused on our lasting Treasure in heaven.  For Heaven knows these dusty things have no place there.  

God help us.  And send muscles.  

Home is where your school is.

Since Lion still has one more year before he should be "officially" educated, I've decided to try my hand at homeschooling my little preschooler. If it all goes well I may *gasp* join the ranks of "those people." Heck, I'm a Christian stay-at-home-mom with three children and drive a minivan--what other stereotype could I fit? With a couple more weeks before we launch into full Pre-K curriculum, I'm gathering my encouragement and inspiration from wiser women who've gone before me (in their suburbans and economy vans). I couldn't be more excited--or more out of my mind--we'll see how it goes. Front porch lesson number one: math, social studies, and recess...

Blog beginnings: Bees says...

"What are you waiting for, mommy? Start blogging! Right after you feed me, burp me, change my diaper, change my clothes because I just spit up all over myself, make my big brothers a snack, slay a dragon with Lion, vroom cars with Bear, give me tummy-time, transfer our laundry to the dryer, fold daddy's clothes, rush to an urgent call from the potty, mop the bathroom floor, listen to the voicemail of the call you just missed, put away those Legos you keep stepping on, make lunch for Lion and Bear, put said brothers down for a nap, feed me again, repeat diaper process, and then I'll irresistibly coo and smile with you until you doze off into a nap with me snug in your arms, dreaming of the day that you have a flash of time and creativity to blog..."